Drunken Confessions
by konataizumi333
Summary: Dean and Cas have been best friends for years, but when Dean drunkenly professes his love, Castiel can't tell if he was serious or not.


"I love you."

Castiel froze. He looked down at Dean, a very drunk Dean, who was lying on his bed, staring up at Castiel with a serious and... loving?... expression.

Castiel sucked in a big breath, trying to calm his hammering heart. "You're drunk, Dean," he managed to say.

"I'm not drunk, you're... drunk," was Dean's witty reply.

Castiel sighed. They had been at the bar and Dean had a few more drinks than Castiel realized which led to him struggling to get Dean safely to his apartment and into bed which was no easy feat considering he had supported most of Dean's weight and Dean was heavy.

Castiel was about to reply, but then the sound of Dean snoring filled the room and Castiel sighed again. He went into the kitchen and filled a glass of water and put it on the bedside table along with some pain killers for when Dean woke up. He pulled up the covers, tucking Dean in, then he left the apartment, locking the door behind him before making his way to his car. He got in the driver's seat and sat there, resting his head against the steering wheel.

He and Dean had been best friends ever since college and Castiel had had a crush on the man nearly as long. Well, crush wasn't the right word anymore, it had been years since it was just a crush. He was pathetic. Pathetically in love with his best friend of almost nine years. What was worse was that Dean wasn't straight so there was no excuse other than the fact that Dean just didn't and wouldn't love him back. He had tried dating, but it never seemed to last, not when he was too hung up on someone else. His only consolation was that dating had never seemed to work out for Dean either. Maybe it was because...?

"Dammit," he muttered. "Quit lying to yourself, Castiel. Wishing and hoping will only make it hurt more."

He sat up and started the car and began the short trek back to his own apartment. Dean's confession had startled him, but was it real or was he just really drunk?

He let out a groan. He was too tired for this and not entirely sober. He would deal with it in the morning.

* * *

Come morning and Castiel was freaking out and he wasn't sure what to do, so he called Charlie.

"Hey, Cas. What's up? It's kinda early."

"Dean said he loved me," he let out in a rush.

"What?" Charlie shrieked.

"Sort of. I mean he didn't actually say it, I mean, he did, but not really and now panicking because I don't know if it was real or not and—"

"Woah, slow down," Charlie interrupted in a calm voice. "Take a deep breath. I have no idea what you're talking about, so start from the beginning and tell me everything."

Castiel took a deep breath before starting, talking slower this time. "Well, last night we went out to a bar and Dean got really drunk—"

"How drunk?"

"Like karaoke-crappy-pop-songs-before-passing-out-and-not-remembering-anything-in-the-morning-drunk, only he didn't pass out, we made it to the apartment and I helped him get in bed and while I was trying to get his shoes off he looked at me and said he loved me and normally I would just write it off as drunken rambling, but he looked so serious, more serious than he had all evening," he spouted without pausing, and took a breath before continuing, "and I can't tell if he was serious and said it because he was too drunk to remember that he probably didn't want to confess that or if he was just really drunk and spouting total nonsense."

Charlie was silent and Castiel could tell she was thinking. "What should I do?" he asked in a small voice.

"I see your dilemma. The obvious thing to do would be to ask him about it—"

"I can't ask him about it! 'Oh, hey Dean, how are you? Oh, by the way, last night you said you loved me, was that true?' There's no way I could ask him that."

"If you let me finish, there was a but coming. Obviously, you can't ask him because even if he was telling the truth, he wouldn't admit that to you now that he's sober. He would take the out and say it was just the alcohol making him say crazy stuff. The only way he would tell you the truth is if you say you love him first, but then that would be awkward if he didn't love you back."

"Exactly! So, what should I do?"

"Hmmm…" Charlie thought. She had been friends with Castiel almost as long as Dean and she was privy to all his drama and knew all the details of Castiel's tragic love story. "You should tell him."

"What? I can't tell him!" Castiel hissed.

"Well, I think you should. Even if he doesn't feel the same way, maybe it would provide closure and you could move on. Besides, I think… maybe Dean does like you?"

"What makes you think that?"

"Well… I don't know, just the way he acts around? Look, I'm a lesbian, I can read women, but men are pretty much a mystery when they're not being obvious, okay?" Charlie sighed. "But Dean seems to treat you differently than his other friends sometimes and maybe I read too much into it or maybe it's because all friendships are different, but maybe… maybe it means something?"

Castiel sighed. "Maybe," he relented.

"Look, all else aside, you've been in love with him for like eight years now, and maybe it's time for the truth to come out so you can move past it. If Dean's not in love with you, then maybe you can move on and be happy with someone else." Castiel stomach churned at the thought of someone else being able to make him feel the same way that Dean did. "And if you're worried about it somehow ruining your friendship? Don't. Dean wouldn't let this come between you guys."

"I guess."

"That's the spirit!" Charlie said in a much cheerier tone. "So, buck up, and tell him how you really feel."

"You're probably right," Castiel said, still not convinced though.

"Of course I am. Now go tell him before you change your mind. Call me with all the details. Good luck!"

And with that, Charlie hung up. Castiel leaned back on his headboard, thinking. Charlie was right, it would be good for him to finally tell Dean, regardless of Dean's own feelings. He decided that he would tell Dean, he needed to. He looked at the clock which read 9:45. Well, Dean would probably still be asleep, right? And he would be sporting a massive hangover, so there was really no reason to bother Dean so early, he reasoned, so he decided he would go to Dean's that afternoon, when he would be awake and feeling better.

* * *

At almost five o'clock, Castiel had to admit to himself he was stalling. He had been fretting about all day, not able to focus on what he was doing. He finally succumbed to cleaning his apartment, something which required very little thought, but now his apartment was sparkling and he had no excuse to wait any longer.

So he got in his car and drove the short distance to Dean's apartment, then proceeded to sit in his car for nearly twenty minutes, working up the nerve to get out. He took a deep breath. Then another. And another. He steeled himself and got out of the car and started walking towards Dean's door.

At least Dean's apartment is on the bottom floor and the apartments open to outdoor hallways so if anything goes wrong, I can make a quick escape, Castiel thought wryly to himself.

He stood in front of the door for another five minutes before he finally knocked. Castiel didn't have to wait long, a few moments later Dean opened the door, wearing faded jeans, a black t-shirt, and a red flannel shirt over it.

Dean smiled. "Hey, Cas. Man, last night was quite a night, huh? I barely remember a thing! So, what's up?"

"Um... well..." Castiel stood there, panicking slightly, as he realized he had no idea what to say. "It's actually about last night... you see... you, um... well..."

"Spit it out, Cas, what's up?" Dean asked, expression somewhere between bemused and concerned.

"Well... I love you. I love you and I have loved you for for a really long time, pretty much since the beginning of our friendship actually, and normally I wouldn't tell you this, but last night, when you were drunk, you told me you loved me, and you seemed serious, but I couldn't tell because you were drunk, so I left and called Charlie this morning and she said that I should tell you how I feel because that's the only way you would tell me how you really feel and that even if you didn't return my feelings it would be cathartic and maybe I could move on, but I don't really want to, but either way I have to know how you feel, so," he paused to suck in a big breath, "was it true?"

Dean was silent. Castiel said the entire thing looking at Dean's chest and not making eye contact, but now he looked up to assess Dean's face. Dean stood stock still, his eyes wide, staring right at Castiel. Despite the noises of the outdoors behind him, to Castiel it seemed as if it was quiet enough to hear a pin drop.

Castiel wasn't sure what to do. Dean was just standing there, not reacting and Castiel was pretty sure he had made a mistake.

Then Dean slammed the door shut and he was definitely sure he had made a mistake.

He stood in front of the door a few seconds longer in shock, then he turned and started slowly walking towards his car. He felt his heart shattering into about a million pieces and felt too numb to even cry. To cry about his failed love and his undoubtedly ruined friendship. He knew Dean didn't love him back, but somehow the confirmation hurt that much more, and after seeing his reaction, Castiel didn't think their friendship would recover.

He was so lost in his sorrow that he didn't hear Dean's door opening until he heard Dean.

"No, wait, Cas-" Castiel turned around and watched with a blank expression as Dean walked towards him. "Shit, I didn't handle that well," Dean muttered under his breath.

Dean didn't stop walking until there was only a few inches between them. He looked at Castiel with an earnest and worried expression. "It's true."

Before Castiel even had time to be confused, Dean's hands came up and cupped his face and then Dean brought their lips together in a gentle and chaste kiss.

It only lasted a few seconds before Dean pulled away, but he stayed close to Castiel, his hands still cupping his face. Castiel heart was doing flip flops and wasn't entirely sure what was going on, but Dean looked like he expected an answer. "What?" he squeaked.

Dean chuckled. "What I said, when I was drunk, it's true. I love you."

"Oh," was all Castiel managed. He took a few seconds longer to register everything that just happened and then his face broke out in a big grin. "Really?"

Dean huffed, glancing at his feet with a small smile. He looked back at Castiel. "Yes, really. And I'm sorry about slamming the door," he replied sheepishly, "I was just... overwhelmed. I certainly didn't expect that when I opened the door."

"It's okay," Castiel said, and they stood there in silence for a few minutes, Dean stroking Castiel's cheek with his thumb as Castiel's hands found their way to Dean's waist, both with stupid smiles on their faces. Castiel was elated, he felt like his heart was soaring above the clouds. "How long?"

"What?"

"How long have you... felt this way?" Castiel asked shyly.

Dean blushed, bringing one his hands back to scratch at his neck. "Um, I don't know? A long time?"

"We're both a couple of idiots, huh?" Castiel said, smiling.

"Just a bit, yeah," Dean replied, with a matching smile.

"Dean?"

"Hm?"

"You should kiss me again."

"Yeah."

* * *

Notes:

Thank you for reading, comments are much appreciated :)

Side note about Charlie: Usually in fics, Charlie knows all and sees all when it comes to the boys' feelings, but I have a headcannon that Charlie does not know how to recognize or interpret a man's romantic signals unless he is being really blunt (like when she didn't know how to flirt with the security guard), so she has suspicions about Dean and Cas, but honestly has no idea how they really feel until they tell her.


End file.
